A Little Self-ish Today

16 Sep

You know what’s lame? Everyone and their mom recognizes these words, but if I asked you to define the differences between them, could you? Probably not. And if you can, then congratulations. Go get yourself a cookie. Here they are:

  • Self-Esteem
  • Self-Confidence
  • Self-Respect

Self-Esteem is pride and satisfaction with oneself. Someone with high self-esteem is confident without being obnoxious or conceited, open and assertive about communicating their needs, not devastated by criticism, not easily defeated by setbacks, and not overly concerned about what others think. Don’t have it? Get it. Here’s how: Celebrate your strengths and achievements. Everyone makes mistakes — forgive yourself for yours. Everyone has weaknesses — forgive yourself for those, too. Change the way you talk to yourself (I always like to ask myself: “If you talked to others the way that you talk to yourself, do you think they would still be your friends?” If the answer is no, consider being more kind to yourself. As the saying goes, we are often our harshest critics). Don’t hold unreasonable standards for yourself. And lastly, instead of constantly criticizing yourself for your faults, try praising yourself for the parts of you that are beautiful.

Self-Confidence is a positive perception of yourself that allows you to have faith in your abilities. Someone with high self-confidence is a go-getter; they pursue their desires because they believe in their own capacity for success. Don’t have it? Well, don’t just sit there on your ass feeling sorry for yourself. Go get it! Here’s how: Be ambitious. Set goals for yourself. Learn to communicate: ask for what you want, and hear advice and counsel. Be loving and kind: nourish healthy relationships, and detach from relationships that don’t allow you to feel authentic. Be open to change. Be optimistic. And f it’s staying true to yourself or pleasing others, stay true to yourself.

Self-Respect is your acceptance of yourself, your character, and your conduct. People with high self-respect do not criticize themselves for who they are, but rather understand that they are human beings that make mistakes and have faults, and accept themselves as such. People with high self-respect are not so concerned by what others think of them, because they are content with themselves. If you are an excellent hockey player, allow yourself to believe it on your own instead of getting overly excited whenever someone pats you on the back and says you’re amazing. Sure, it’s nice to hear. But a person with high self-respect does not need compliments in order to accept and approve of themselves.

If you find yourself deficient in one or more of the areas listed above, well… apply the techniques I’ve so handily offered and do something about it! You, my friend, are your own worst enemy. You don’t need others to love you in order for you to love yourself. In fact, it’s the other way around. You need to love yourself before you can love others and they can love you. So get crackin’ :)

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